Oh hi. Hey. Hello there. Remind me to blend my eyeliner better next time I shoot a video.

At the moment I am sitting outside on a very windy, impossibly sunny day in the Hamptons, listening to Talib Kweli. I’ve been writing this piece to you, dear reader, for a very long time. Well that’s relative, right? Months ok, I’ve been writing it for months, in my head, and it always starts a different way. Mostly because every time I start writing it again I forgot how I started it the last time. A lot has gone down since you last saw me. Actually before that.

There’s a very long explanation for where I’ve been. Well no, there’s a short explanation, and then there’s a long, detailed explanation, which I’ll get to later. It’s a long, detailed, sad, happy, insane, at times unbelievable story. Maybe an essay, probably a book. The story, the journey I’ve been on deserves the time and the detail, and I want to and will share it with you when it’s over, when I can.

The last time you saw me on Instagram I was increasingly underweight, and just generally not doing or looking well. After a while I didn’t feel comfortable posting those types of images without context. As many of my friends said “We know you’re sick, but girls who follow you might just think you’re anorexic.” I didn’t in any way want to contribute to that issue, and physically, I just wasn’t able to keep up. I pushed as long as I could before my family, friends, and doctors and holistic team finally said, Laura, you have to stop. I pushed a little longer actually, just cause that’s how I do baby! (not proud, but sort of am) and then I finally stopped. I’m not currently practicing dentistry, and I had to pause the fashion work I was doing and get better.

Which I’ve been doing, slowly (ugh) but I’m getting better. For now, I’m ready and able to start getting back to doing what I love, in bits and pieces. Peeking around the curtain of social media and waving and smirking and telling you I’m still here. For a while I couldn’t go on Instagram at all, I couldn’t read Vogue, it made me so sad. Sad is such a lame word for a writer, but it just made me sad. I wanted to participate and couldn’t. I felt disengaged, Lyme, and being sick in general will do that to you, make you feel like isolating yourself from people and things you once adored. Oh I should have started with that. I have Lyme Disease. Well, I have what you know as Lyme, and what you know might be not much, or confusing, or just vague, because Lyme is so misunderstood right now. I mean RIGHT Yolanda?!

The reason Lyme is so misunderstood is because it’s so complicated. It’s literally different in every single person who contracts it, based on how their immune system reacts, how it’s treated (or not treated), what other co-infections the tick transmits along with the Lyme bacteria (like Babesia, Bartonella, etc), and then along the way how the body breaks down, stops functioning properly, and what things, living (Candida, parasites) and not living (heavy metals), take advantage of that weakened individual. Often while the person doesn’t even know it.

There’s so much to tell you, so much. But for now, know that I’m getting proper, excellent, the best I’m so fucking lucky you have no idea treatment, out in the Hamptons. I’ve been out here healing. The Call to Style website has been silent, but I will be writing more. You’ll see me a lot more on social media, mostly on snapchat (my FAVE). You’ll see more videos, for sure.

There will be times you might not see me for a few days, maybe I’m not feeling that great at the time. But it’s all progressing beautifully, and I won’t be gone for long if I am. There’s a new website that we designed for CTS that we’ve held off on launching until I’m able to post every day, including doing new photo shoots, etc. So that will be unveiled when the time is right. It’s pretty dope, and I’ve been excited about showing that to you. You’ll hear more from me on Refinery29, who have been beyond amazing through this. I’ve seen every one of your comments and emails, asking where I’ve been, telling me you miss me, and it’s meant the world.

If you have any questions or just want to say what up, email me at Laura@CallToStyle.com or snap chat me because I fucking. love. snapchat. K bye for now.

Missed you, mean it.